Perhaps to emo JK in future,

Few days ago, at the same time, at the same place, I unleashed another emo wave for my own blunders, and betting, the guy I blamed must had made lots of sneezes as I typed my previous angry post.

Now?

I am finally recovered from seeming endless emo-strikes, all of sudden. All it takes is a few jogs, some careful planning, and a realization because of abook.  

For the future JK, I'm not sure whether I would be again on emo-state, so I prepared a post like this just for myself in future, in case I (or you) lost in future, reading this thing will somehow guide you (or I)in the midst of loss.

To: Yami (Dark)

I am quite sure that you'll get emo sooner or later, and it is a matter of time before you actually spams more sad posts on internet, and brought the circle of emo around the people, and you will get more emo because your fren emo, such a weird circle it seems.

Dude, you just don't realize how big the impact of your emo wave, to yourself and maybe, to others. I know, it is impossible not to be emo, unless you have achieved enlightenment, which is quite impossible for lustful people like you. So, next time you emo, don't try to avoid your emo-ness, compress it or hide it. It won't just disappeared in a sleep or two, or disappeared if you asked it so. Keep compressing like what you used to do, and you will be a prickled ballon. POP, and you're gone.

Sooner or later, you will be worrying about technical stuff and those messy stuff when others don't. Like for me, I had just realized that I had to apply Uni for my own, and even worst, forced to apply for an Uni that i will not be admitted. The result of me not doing those means a meeting with JPA, not to mention, you'll have to make a new dossier out of scratch.

Problems just keep coming. And you know how I do? GIVE IT A DAMN about UiUC. I said I don't want it, and I ain't applying it with a rush. If JPA wanted to see me, fine, I tell JPA, " I am saving money for you for not applying an Uni that I won't get in for sure.", and I sure JPA won't mind someone to fork out his 75 usd to do his umi application alone. And for Dossier? Nah, I made a schedule what to do, and after reviewing my mini schedule, off to go to Wheel of Time! 

There's no use worrying. You planned everything and if something meddle in, you will never know. Fate takes control and no matter how you planned, all you can come out is a great plan, but maybe not a great result. So why don't just leave it. Be confident in your scheming. Throughout years, messy problems like this come like bundle to your life, and everytime, there is always something to help you out. Gosh, for a self-proclaimed Atheist, you are lucky to be taken care by HIM.

 So, if next time problems occur, think as long as you can about the problem, write the solution on the sheet, keep the sheet, and that's it. Done. No use thinking about the problem anymore, not as if you can manipulate the problem by thinking. If you can do something, do it, and if not, just go for a jog or DoTA.

Ya, and one more thing, We used to have all those of emotional-emo, which thanks to certain person that you liked or hated. She grunted, you sighed. He scolded, you blamed yourself all over. Things like this could be DAMN destructive. You might be started to think how bad you are, and the next minute, you will find somewhere in KLCC and jumped.

Duh! Don't depcriate yourself just people do that on you. Don't go helluva just because of a guy or a girl. Screw all those romantic novels! Romeo can still live without Juliet, and Cinderella could always run away from Castle if the prince find himself another wife. You are who you are, a fashionless people with a silly sense of humor, different view of mankind, and sometimes, selfish. That's how you are, and ain't change these for someone sake, hiding your nature when you shouldn't.

And if you still find useless, here's a guide for you. A Intro-to buddhist (huh, a atheist book) thingy. 

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People do not generally live in their actions, in the present moment.They live in past or future. Though they seem to be doing something now, here, they live somewhere in their thoughts,  in their imaginary problems and worries, usually abt memories in past or specualtion in future. Therefore, they don't live in, nor do they enjoy what they do at the moment. So they are unhappy with current conditions, and not giving fully on what they are doing......

You cannot escape life no matter where you are, in a cave or city. Real life is the present moment, not past memories and distant dream. Ones who live in the present life lives the REAL life, and he's the happiest.

Let's take an example. You exprienced unhappy sorrowful thought (emo lo). In the state of mind, your mind is hazy, not clear, and depressed. Even sometimes, you don't know why you are depressed. First of all, DON'T feel unhappy on your unhappy feeling (blaming yourself for emo). Instead, try to see clearly WHY there is a sensation of unhappiness or sorrow. Try to examine why it arises, it cause, how it disappears. Examie as if you are a scientist observing an object which has  nothing with you. Also. don't think it as "MY feeling" but " a feeling". View yourself form third perspective. 

After you see its nature, how it arises and disappear, your mind grow dispassionate (or just a simple CEH) on the feeling, you are free.

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And if you really enjoy thinking of your problem, go jog TEN ROUND UNTIL YOU ARE TOO LAZY TO THINK>.<

Good luck to you. Whether  you are in US, or USM. Single and deserted. When all hopes seems to crumble, read this. I'm always with you.

Regards

Hikari (Light)