Weird changes...

Names~~

In this new piece of land I stepped, I am more known as Edward than the name J.K. And also the fact that I will never (or not likely) to introduce my chinese name, and instead urging people just to call me Edward...

Im am trying to break from the identity shackes - the fact that I am a Malaysian Chinese means that I had to mix with just this two groups of people, but in doing so, I started to forget the roots that shaped me who am I - the fact that I am a Malaysian, and I'm a chinese.

In fact, Malaysia politic started to matter less to me, the fact that I am an ex student in Florida, the fact that I'm once a naive kid from Ipoh, started to fade as times goes by. However, at the same time, I am not fully acquainted in this piece of new land.

Well, perhaps the fact that I am the only Malaysian, the only Chinese in my living place, and perhaps the fact that my hometown friends doesn't really a lot...

But well, there's no sadness as i typed out every single word here, I am more bleak. As I sat here, i wondered, how should i represent myself? - A Malaysian? A chinese? An university student? An Ipoh kid? or etc.

I don't really care which identity am I supposed to be, as I am starting to get comfortable in my current status. But, deep in mind, I still thought - is losing the previous root a real good thing?

like a faint light in total darkness, just faint...

In the midst of getting used to myself as Edward instead of JK,should I be ok, or not ok? with the present me?

Time shows.

Emotions~~

Well, this word started to get harder and harder to understand as times goes by.

From a young lad completely driven by emotions, I turned into almost cool-chill guys. Out of my disabelief, I still can act everything's normal despite how life might play a prank on me. Well, it doesn't mean I can't felt sad, but the speed of my recovery is way too fast, a facebook comment and I am down to normal.

And when I looked at my friends' homesickness, complaints of hard work, missing old times comment, i am wondering, why the heck I didn't experience all those stuff, and began studying my head for 5 minutes, and forget it afterwards

But at the same time, I never experienced times when I laughed till I forget myself since I came here, or feeling of embarassment when I will whack myself to a wall, or feelings of jealousy, feeling of longing, well, those feelings goes as time goes by as I started to accustom into living alone.

I am missing close friends company, and this has somehow led to a change I both like and dislike. The fact that I am started to become a more and more rational cool head adult, and also the fact the hot-headed me started to fade as time goes by.

And again, is it a good thing to happen?

Well, maybe my situations aren't that bad, but if someday you didn't any comments in my facebook, you might as well expected me become one with the picture of my profile picture - lone wolf.

Religions, belief, and god

Strange thing huh, that the fact of geographical changes will change the personality of people that stays. These three words were a complete stranger before I cam here, and i am ready to be the evil heretics and go around doubting the god's existence and disaproving people religion (at least that's what people say)

In here, it was a complete different matter.

Despite that the fact American was a free-religion country, it doesn't cover the fact that there's a lot of christian here, and also lots of people that ready to convert you into God's love.

Just days ago, I saw a man carrying big cardboard, writing "Jesus will send all the sinners to the lake of fire, and the next cardboard writing, "Forsake your sins and follow the jesus Christ.", and shouting loud in the mid of the field, preaching from morning to afternoon.

I first saw the person in the morning, and I smirked to myself and said, "If I'm the sinner and Jesus will send me to hell, so be it," And in the same day, afternoon, I saw the same person at the middle of the hall, except that the field was surrounded by curious people, looking at the mad man.

I stood at the field joining the crowd, and listened how the man arguing, debating and conversing with the publics, and somhow I got bored with it and walked away, but there 's one thing I wouldn't forget...

"You will never know how Jesus Christ changed my life." And yeah, did I forget to mention he was a complete failure in life before this.

I am amazed on how people devoted into their religion, they formed volunteering societies, perhaps, as they said, a way to show their love of god around. And those people include chinse, nigerians, and people from other country.

There's one ocassion when i asked my host families of reason why they go around organizing those volunteer activities, and he said.

"God has given us much love, and we would like to share the love around." and I saw how he smiled with belief as he spoke out this sentence. It wasn't something you can fake.

I doubt how much god had helped them in their life, but I swear that I am amazed by the confidence of he speaking out those sentence.

Well, i still self proclaimed as an agnostics, but, the world might get better if more people devote on religious belief, and I, still the heretic =p

10 minutes random rambling...

10 minutes count...

Well, there are ten minutes before my math class will start and I am totally clueless what to do in front of a laptop that is connected to internet. No muc updates from facebook, no new mails, and no more need to check for university email (because I had just get rejected by the university for not having a driver license) =.= And why did they bother about driver license when I could just walked there?.....And i swear i could take 30Ib...i can =.= .....

9 minutes count

Checked facebook yesterday, and I found out that taylor Swift mike was grabbed by Kanye West during the MTV video music award. Well, for people like me that doesn't give a care about the entertainment industries, I actually googled the whole incident to know what's happening, and frankly, I feel pity for Taylor (she cried...after all, it's her FIRST time award and her maiden speech! screw Kanye West for being so unprofessional.)

Beyonce song is good, but i still prefer taylor =p

(lol, I actually cared)...

8 minute count

Taylor Swift song has always been my favorite =p. The first encounter of her song was kinda unusual, not from friends' recommendation nor video. It was actually during an INTEC event of INTEC got talent that someone sang the song "Love Story" and I really liked it, and I actually asked around people what song she's singing. (And apparently to my horror, Nouri was also singing Love Story during that time, except that he's wearing a baju kurung, and except the Romeo and Juliet happens to be both guys, and, and, it felt so distorted......)

I would have voted the girl to win because of the song Love Story =p.

But well, after finally listened the real song "love story", I could swear I played the song 10++ times each days for 3 consecutive days, and I could say, I still love her voice and song even though I played for another ten times =p.

6 minutes remaining

And because of love story, I heard other song in the same album, and all turns out to be my favorite. Teardrops on my guitar when I feel down, You belong with me (the song tht won the MTV VMA and my favorite among all songs -p) when I thought why would I still single, Our song when I feel life's getting slow, Tim Mc Graw when I was on a long journey with no one to talk. and etc etc =p

The only thing I'm guilty of, is those songs aren't original =.= I downloaded it, and in US law, i'm commiting crime.

(quoting Yuin yi) Can I have a latest album of fearless please, for my incoming birthday (it's next year....=.=)

4 minutes remaining.

4 more minutes then i had to cycle to class. And I had to look around the campus to find the one hall among 10++ halls and looked for the right room among the 50++ rooms inside.

It's so frustated, and yet it's so free. Yep! Free!

Cycle around the campus and road in the morning. take a bus if you are lazy. Drop by starbuck for a vanilla Latte if you are yawning in class (Well, I love Mocha frappucino). Browsing stuff in Ebay searching for cheapest deal, shopping in the Cub looking what food to cook, and what spices to put. And constantly standing in Kitchen, thinking how to ruin the whole kitchen with the chickens I bought....Steam? oyster? fried? Roast?

Things are some frustating, yet interesting.

1 minute remaining.

Yikes, cycling to vincent hall takes more than a minute. Yep, i gonna late for class again. Well, as if they cared ~~~at least i won't receive another Miss Asma's hearing for being a late person...

lalalala* reminding miss Asma and her hearing, shivers"

Gotta go, my 99usd cheap bike

=p

The uni life, the insightful life, the hard life, the new life, The life...of U of M

This is my second week in the Minnesota, studying in the U of M, in Minnesota. Looking back those times before a week, and comparing those life in one week, it's completely heaven and earth. And right now I still can't believe I had to clean my own room, wash my own clothes, manage my finance, cook myself food, and arranging my own transport.

Well, I might had the same life in INTEC times, but it's more different, perhaps I could say, more challenging. INTEC's hostel is free, but my current housing's costing me a whooping 420usd. You can mess with the hostel, but not cleaning the kitchen here results you to get kicked out from the house.

There's bus from the hostel to the school, and Rapid KL route is kinda easy to use. Here, it's a complete different case. You will still get lost even you hopped on the right bus, and you'll still blur despite after doing your research route in internet. And well, there's sth more. The bus goes one way and once you missed your destination, be prepared to hop to 2 buses to get it back.

In home, try give a mum a call, and you'll get your money with some nagging. Here? You'll better hopped to your university cafe (TO WORK, of cuz) if you are broke. And the final thing. You walked out from your dorm, you will see faces that you are so familiar that you would have dream them in your dreams, but well, here, the moment I stepped out from the room, expect to say hi to...a thailand guy, a vietnam girl, a china guy, or a local minnesotian. Going to U of M, you might meet someone from Germany, Norway, Ecuador, and more. When Malaysia boosts that they had cultural diversity, I just said, it's nothing if you compared to u of m that has people from 139 countries!

If I'm actually comparing, I will be ended up with an entry of how good Malaysia is, and how shouldn't I take JPA and went to US =.=. Nevertheless, life is not looking behind the shadows of past, or lights of future, it's about present which is now, when I typed this entry for my blog.

And now I had already whined enough, let's get to the things in U of M

People

Yep, it is perhaps one of the greatest change I had seen in the U.S. It is so different in Malaysia, and well, it is so very different from my point of view about those Americans.

I don't know what you guys think about the Americans, but this is what I think about the Americans. What's my sources? Heroes, Hollywood movies, Prison Break, and perhaps American Pie maybe...

They are a bunch of ignorants that will start a fight if you irritate them just a bit. They drink booze and go for ecstasy like hell. They live sex and rave parties They hate Asian especially chinese. They speak yo yo to you and next minute you got a holler up. They are unfriendly, and to sum up, they are a bunch of bastards for the Asian.

This is the thing I thought before one week, and that's what I experienced in this one week.

I lost my way few times, and they offered help WITHOUT me asking. It happens inside and outside the campus...

My plastic broke while carrying loads of stuff, and a lady rushed out from a car and offer me a new bag, again, WITHOUT me asking.

I was given a seat in the full bus, when my hand was carrying two packages of heavy foodstuff.

I asked direction to place for gazillions times, and each of them gives a detailed explanation to me.

For the first time, i saw almost every single people thanked the bus driver for giving them a ride, and the bus driver always greeted back with a " You're welcome"

I just horrified when I know buying medicine without a prescription can result to a penalty, which made me realize how drugs are controlled severely by the US government, and ya, people below 21yrs cannot drink booze, and everyone goes by the law

And lastly, I am welcomed by an American family, and despite his work as a scientiest in marine life, he was willing to fetch me to buy my groceries , my bike, opening an account, and buying my cellphones, perhaps listening to my imperfect English whine at the same time, without showing hints of anger or fatique...

Well, It doesn't give a conclusive view about Americans, but well, those things also remind me that I cannot judge Americans by those movies either. It's unfair to the Americans.

They might valued privacy and secret much more than we Malaysian. They might not get close or intimate to you (fearing u as a gay), they might spoke in fast pace, and you might found it hard to have them as true friend. However, they are overall a friendly bunch of people and unless they are busy, you can always have a chat with them.

Right now, i was trying to avoid myself from mixing with the Malaysian only because I know I would miss a lot of good social experiences. So far, my progress aren't that good. I tried to mix with some international group from Norway, Ecuador, and German. (Texas college were made to be extreme cold so that no girls wear skirt :( , from what I learned from those bunch of people). And my housemate Ian just give me a treat of his totilla after I praised his nice cookings =p. (perhaps looking hungry in the process...). Well, things aren't that hopeless after all.

I shall make my journey (or my studies ) in America an experience I can boast of when i back to malaysia, and perhaps turning to another new leaf in the process.

Sorry, no pictures, kinda lazy to upload

A thought provoking video

Just a question, maybe, what is the system the guy is referring and what is the meaning of system assumed by the cop?

That shud make u though a while..