A better, or a worse year?

31 Dec, and I still stick in the CC alone. The usual merry, packed CC was gone. Lemme guess, all people are countdown in Parkson = =

Me? I just don't have the mood to shout "ten, nine, eight", and making myself sweating, and p erhapscursing because of bustling and hustling with the audience. As usual, I had my own countdown in CC- my unique yet boring type of spending time waiting for a new year.

And I finally finnished the creepy survival horror game before 2008, to be precise, at 11.38p.m. when I snapped the horrible ghost with another killing blow snap.

FUNNY. I used to have lots of nightmare while playing the game, and even staying alone in the house give me some unknown creep. But right after I finnished the game, and watched the ending, the feeling just disappeared.

Perhaps love and compassion exists, even to those spirit that you might fear.

Ok, time to say, my new year resolution. Sounds impossible, but it won't hurt by just bluffing.

1. Having a girlfriend - (unless some mutation or plastic surgery which I couldn;t afford, I could just ignore this one)

2. Getting a high CGPA- ( until one day when an evil kian hui "accidentally" smashed my laptop, it is impossible t happen)

3. A whole ride bike around malaysia- (problem is, i don't even have my bike)

4. Win in a debate against Cj or wei young -(That...I don't think it will happen unless both of them happened to get dumb or watsoever

5. Defeat Chau Kee in a DotA game- ( unless sth happened to chau kee's laptop while playing, it is another impossible thing to be done.)

=.=

Is this a new year resolution for someone going to US?

Well, I have some little resolution though
-To be more matured and calm in daily communication
-To be able to see this world as a world with more hope, and less scepticism
-To be able to shackle the past
-To be more responsible and more determined in own belief
-and also to know what is "love and care".

And finally, a new lappie if possible. (HP Core 2 duo 2GB ram 250 SATA HDD NvDIA 9600 with crystal screemn would be best)

Or a new series of books will do

MINASAN (everyone), happy new year. And though India and Pakistan is on verge of war, economy in recession, seeming endless political laughter, or perhaps, more unimaginable things could have happened.

But still, hold a high hope for this new year.

The year of 2009, the bull!!!!!!!!!!!!!!year

Does Mr . Santa Claus exist?

I never consider this question, cuz the moment I know Santa, I know he is just a commercial figure to ask u to buy more stuff.

But, maybe I have to think twice, and for people that thought the same as I , this is just for you

From THE SUN 19

"DEAR EDITOR: I am 8 years old. "Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. "Papa says, 'If you see it in THE SUN it's so.' "Please tell me the truth; is there a Santa Claus?"VIRGINIA O'HANLON."115 WEST NINETY-FIFTH STREET."

VIRGINIA, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except [what] they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's, are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, VIRGINIA, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus. It would be as dreary as if there were no VIRGINIAS.

There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if they did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove?

Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real?

Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding. No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

From New York Sun 1897

P.S. a little piece of text for ur Xmas

A lost soul in Christmas

The sound of rock music echoes, and voices of people shouting fervently for their game can be heard the whole time, as I sit alone in this CC, becoming one of the lost souls in Christmas.

They are the people who cannot find their way in the mass of people, that had failed to find the term myself among the midst of poeple they know. They indulged in the world of digital, a world of internet , perhaps the most unreliable thing in this world. Yet these are the best thing that he or she could have grasped. In the wirtual world, he has a different identity, a different view, a different thing to do, that could possibly throw him out of sadness of reality.

Especially in this Christmas, when loves and care fills the air, there seems to be a group of people that is unable to love someone, or not loved and cared. There seems to have people that fails of distinguish Christmas with another day. To them, christmas is just another one of his hundred excuse to leave the house, or the cage of reality perhaps for someone, and indulge themselves in these seeming unreliable digital world.

We are the ones who perhaps who choose to ignore, choose not to acknowledge the presence of Him. Even though the heat of love of him is radiant, it coulf never reach the cold's space of them. The radiant seems to be to hot, or perhaps too surplus, for a cool heart resides in a person.

We are The Lost Soul of Christmas. We're the ones who Santa would never give a visit to.

*************************************************************************************

Today, I had the worst Christmas ever...

Yesterday, there's a ex-schoolmate gathering. I half-hearted attended the gathering. The skepticism within me told me that it's going to be another dull gathering for me. Or perhaps, I scared to go there.

To see my own mistake, my silly past, seeing the me who has been once helpless before.

I reached the gathering, and greeted by one of those stupid nicknames I "honorly" earned during my school years. Before this, I could have turned into a tall face, or refuted what I say. However, I smirked at them, and sat down quietly, disappointingly telling myself " They still haven't changed. do they."

During the whole gathering, I fall to silence, as I listened to their experiences, and in the end, loaded by crap, ranging from " I've just done a concert in Tokyo to Do you want to lost ur virginity tonight,"

Utter nonsense.

In the next one hour, I excused myself to toilet, and then run ro the nearest CC to have a game.

SAm I being too sensitive after two years, or am I becoming more pesimism within these two years, I couldn't have known.

Another bored and "miserable" Christmas Eve.
*************************************************************************************

Christmas!

Wake up la, you have to work at 7a.m., so let's get working.

Having a chicken chop for lunch, asked the co-worker of mine to prepare a turkey to me, but he replied, there's a bunch of lightfire there if you wanted to smoke.

Laughed at his reply (huo ji (turkey) and the lighter (da huo ji) sounds the same.

And today friends called me to have a nadminton game in a resort, in the end, my trousers broke into half, and my two-years spectacle broken.

And when I reached home, an electronic breakout happened just when I arrived home.

And now, I am typing on a computer, after mom's failed attempt to let me stay at home.

Tonight, do you see a cart with reindeer pass through the night of Xmas, I don't, cuz Santa never show himself to the mischevious kid.

*************************************************************************************

Happy Christmas to all of you, and remember, this is perhaps ur last christmas in Malaysia, or in your own state.

And remember to cherish those one you love, and learn to love in this Christmas.

Xmas is a time when you learn to bless , love giving and receiving bless from everyone, though business has commercialized Xmas into something comercial, but please remember, the true meaning of Christmas, a time of love-care and sharing. Be aware of the people throughout the world who have suffered around as you enjoyed another one of ur enjoyable christmas with friends.

Give a ten second of prayer to those lost of people in Thailand, that struggled for democracy, to those that have died under the cruel attacks of Mumbais, the Africans that have died from our splendid spending, and others that might be writhing for pain as you laughed with join in this christmas.

Me?

I still haave to worry my spec

Fatal Frame

For all camera lovers, I have a story to tell. But beware; don’t proceed on looking this post if you have no-resistance to spooky stories, especially people that have great imagination and would probably have a nightmare from than night week. Worst, you might feel something strange with your dear camera that you used to hold.

The story is not that spooky, but you have been warned. If you decided to sue me, or blame me after that, I would pay no responsibility. Then again, you have been warned. But the story is not that spooky actually, unless…you’re the main character…

Sorry to say, but I didn’t have any “extraordinary” encounter yet. It’s just that, I played a series of game, and the game really spooks me. It send a cold chill to me, even with the mention of it and for your information, the game is named “FATAL FRAME.”

When firstly camera was invented, there are some people that refused to be taken picture by camera, as rumor during that time said; your soul will be trapped the moment the camera is snapped… Of course, it is a senseless rumor, but this game is designed and based on this rumor.
……
Long time ago, there was a village called the “All God’s Village”. It is said that there’s a great evil resides in the core of the village, and to suppress it, a ritual must be done to appease the evil within.

The ritual is, a twin will be caught at the sacrificial ground, and both twins have to kill each other by holding their neck, until one of them is dead. Then, the dead sister would be sacrificed, while the other survived.

And one of the twins that are chosen for the ritual are named Sae And Yae. Both of them tried to escape from the ritual, however, in the last minute, Yae was able to escaped alone with a guy called Mitsuki, leaving Sae behind before the sacrificial ceremony starts. The unlucky Sae was caught to the ceremonial site. However, during the ritual, she went berserk all of sudden, and the whole people in the village was killed, and the village since then, vanished.
It all started with this line, “we will always be together, forever…”

Two twin sisters, Mayu and Mio played in a small stream near a forest, when suddenly, Mayu, the elder sister chased a crimson butterfly that flew past her, she kept run, with her sister, Mio, chasing the Mayu which has a weird obsession on that butterfly.
They reached the All God’s Village, the village with a spooky past…and they cannot find their way out.

The twin decided to explore around the village and on one occasion, she disappeared with the dead spirit of the villagers. Since then, miss Mio had to bear the quest to find her elder sister, and save her, but with herself trapped in this mystic-village, with those vengeful spirit waiting to take her life.

And your role is too control the pitiful Mio.
(just some grumble) Mind you, this game is quite realistic in one sense, as no punch and kick will deal damage to those “beings”, nor do the girl has special power (she could be the clumsiest character I played…) , or light saber, pistol or whatever you think. And her trump card to survive is the…tata, the camera which is designed to trap the souls of the dead, called the camera Obscura. When you battle using this camera, you have to adjust your camera to the spirit (like you use a real camera, but no need to adjust brightness though), and take a picture. (Say Cheese). But, to deal tons of damage, you have to wait when the spirit approaches and SNAP just before the bloody claw touches the little Mio. (That explains why my camera skill improved, I had done a lot of practice in the game, and you might be just be…somehow, lolz). And those spirits could passed through any wall, and give you bloody chilly touch that made Mio screamed! The game difficulty was set to easy, but I have trouble to finish the game. Perhaps, I have to worry whether something would appear when I played (gasp, I don’t have a camera).

Continue to story…

By one chance, Mio was told by Mitsuki that Mayu was caught to the sacrificial ground to perform the ritual, and Mio has to rescue her before the ritual is done. She had to prevent the tragedy that lands to the twins landed on her sister. And obvious, Sae is behind all this.
When Mio finally eventually encountered Sae, she saw the past and the bloody history that mingle between them.

And, you know what’s the ending? I don’t mean to spoil the game, so any people that is playing on the game can kindly close now. ( But bet all of you would either uninterested, or scared to death, let me spoil the ending.)

Mio slay and cut ( or should say, SNAP) Sae into few pieces, and rescue Mayu from the village, live happily ever after.

If this is the ending, I would have say “ Ceh, expected,” and satisfied for finishing this horror game.

But instead, I scolded WTF for half an hour after seeing the ending.

Sae is not killed, and twins meet each other. Suddenly, the scene of the sacrifices once again appeared, the scene of Sae and Mae flashed, and Mio, uncontrollably wretched Mayu’s neck to her death…

When Mio was conscious on what she do, she cried, and suddenly something happened. The bruise on neck turned into a crimson butterfly, and Mio chased the crimson butterfly until one spot, when she saw lots of crimson butterfly there, the souls of the twins that died from the sacrifice.

In the end, Mio sat in the bench alone, with a red-butterfly like scar on her neck, and Mio’s last sentence is…

We would always be together, forever………

This is the game…fatal frame II- Crimson butterfly.
I swear that I won’t play any kind of this horror game. I have been scared to death, playing this kind of game at midnight, in the dining hall. I must have some nerve to do that, until…I stumbled on another series of the game.
Fatal Frame III – the tormented.

Rei Amakura, the main character of the story, is a reporter that reports about the strange event happened around. She suffered from her boyfriend’s death, named Yuu, and Yuu’s death was somehow related to Rei. Since then, she suffered from the trauma, and on one occasion, she knew about the research that Yuu had been doing- The Manor of Sleep.

It is said that in the Manor of Sleep, you would see your beloved dead person there. However, if you decide to chase, you could have found yourself missing in the manor forever. The location of the Manor was still a mystery, like the All God Village in 2n series.

Since then, Rei dreamt about the manor, and she saw Yuu inside the Manor, however, when she wanted to find Yuu, she was assaulted by a mysterious girl, and a scar was left on her shoulder.
Just when Rei woke up and found out that it’s just a dream, she saw the scar, expanding day by day on the shoulder.

On one dream, she stumbled a girl named Yoshida, the only survivor of a plane crash, and she keep muttering the sentence.

If only I didn’t survive. I should have never lived.

Rei decided to pay a visit to Yoshida in hospital, and the unconscious Yoshida was suddenly covered with unknown scar, and disappeared…

Meanwhile, Kei, the cousin of Mio (the girl on the crimson butterfly series) had been worrying on Mio, for she has always blamed herself since the incident. During one time, Mio landed on a deep sleep, and Kei discovered the lost Mio in his dream, in the Manor of Sleep.

What would happen to Rei? Who’s the girl that assaulted Rei? And what would happened on Mio and Kei? I had been eagerly wanted to know, but I can’t, for the game is too scary to be played alone at night, the music is spooky, the background, everything… = = On one time,I played the game and throw the joystick 15mins later, for my hand already shivered. I even resist the temptation to shout “AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!”

But believe me, once I have nothing to play to, I would enjoy scaring myself, and play this game. Cuz, I want to know the ending.

But right now, nah, give me a break.

I'm in eighties

Tell you a tale.

The JK you know actually is a teen comed from the eighties, and he travelled through time to the year of 2008.

Sounds weird?

Nah, if you approached the specimen called JK, you might wondered, " is he a time-traveller".

Of course, time travel is still absurd. Einstein merely invented the theory, and no scientists can apply his theory till now.

So?

My point is, JK was born on a wrong time, cuz he had a belief that the young generation didn't possess. Or, you could say, he's an outdated-ass or nerd.

Dun believe?

This is sth that I discovered from Mid- Valley.

1. I don't have a fashion sense compared to others. While others geared out with their decent costumes, I wore my broken versace T-shirt, cuz other T-shirts are dirty, and my slippers, hmm... is the same slipper I wore when I worked in restaurant.

Hyde: Btw, I am damn broke with 20 bucks left in my pocket. I was worried whether I could survive after a Kara-oke and a sushi session, ppl said, I'm in sort of love dilemma. And wherever I was near of a christmas gift, birds can be heard chit-chatted again.

( shall we continue ? )

2. I had a very bad fashion sense. My hair cannot be unattended, and I can never come out with the stylish hairstyle

3. I had a very very bad fashion sense.

(Why are U repeating the sth thing over again, jekyll asked)

I hated to loiter around the shopping outlet, seeing the different yet same clothing to me, enjoy touching something over hundred, and I knew that I can't buy it.

4. My slogan, teenager nowadays

Somehow, it became my favorite line nowadays.

5. Lamentation of teen nowadays

The tendency of me to wonder, why people can emo over small thing ( no offence ), why people just hate to walk an extra mile, why people just can't be rational more a little bit.

6. I am becoming a wet blanket

Well, miscommunication with 21 century people can lead me to that.

Well, that's all.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Regards Jekyll

__________________________________________________________________
For people that doesn't wish to get mad, or still want to continue befriend with me, pls kindly ignored the sentences below. This is wat hyde said, not the good jekyll

.........

(It is deleted by the blog author, knowing the consequences of his emo-wave discharge)

REGARDS.
HYDE

An event to remember

People nowadays are labeled as cold-blooded and without courtesy, and sorry to say that I began to become one of them.

13/12/2008 time : 8.10

I and a tired bunch of friends just finnished from a shopping trip. While others had to stand all their way to shah alam in the KTM, I was glad for able to secure one seat to myself. Few minutes later, an elder Malay aunty stand beside me. She looked me with a pair of eye, like asking me to give a seat to her.

I had an urge to leave my seat. But I hesitated. Because, I suddenly remembered a petty event that happened to me months ago.

I and my friend secured a seat in the congested Rapid KL. My friend asked me to give the seat to the two old aunt in front of me. I agreed, but when I asked the old woman to sit on my place, it turns out that the old aunt was a young lady, and the next second, my friend laughed at my naiveness.

I remembered the event. and I refused to budge from my seat. She looked at me again, with the same pair of eye that looked me just now, and I am still hesitated.

Soon, a Malay girl scolded me for not giving the old aunt a seat. I apologized and stand out, but before that, I was replied "tak payah" because a guy already stand up before I do. And for the rest of the 30 minute KTM trip, I covered my face in emberassment, regretting my own action.

Lesson 1. Never hesitated to offer kindness and help to people, even though ur help was rejected , fooled or labeled unnecessary.

Lesson 2. Never played on people kindness, u might be doing a greater evil for creating a people that would wary twice before offering a helping hand.

Regards
A shameful Jekyll

the nature of power

What is people’s true nature?

In this world, there are three things that can be classified as power- money, fame, and of course, pure violence. People bowed and relented to power, and the powerful ones continue to rule. And if you wondered why these 3 things, I say- it all thanks to evolution of people.

People, in nature, hate of being hit, scared of act of violence. They bow to those there are stronger to them, and strong rules the weak. These happens during those ancient times or Paleolithic or even older. This is what we call “survival the fittest.”

However, it is quick for people to realize that “the more the better”. No matter how strong you are, I doubt you will survive if ten persons take you on (unless you are superman, and superman doesn’t exist). Soon people realize that more amounts mean more protection, and of course more power. And that’s why they started to categorize themselves into communities, and even some of them build countries and civilization as we knew today.

However, people do not always agree to each other, and more people mean more disagreement. It is also a fact that most people need guidance (that, I presume is the reason of existence of religion) and also there are people, which their nature is to rule. Soon enough, leader existed to represent the community, or rather to rule people which nature is to be ruled. A leader, or a ruler needs support of a large people, and these is when fame comes to play. A leader is the one that leads people to prosperity, however throughout history; it seems that the thing leader do is to bring more people under his leadership, for it means more power of violence. And the “way” is no other than act of violence, and that’s why war existed.

Soon, power changes a new form, thanks to capitalism, when money is the important thing of survival. More money means a magical lamp that granted you wish-for a better luxurious life, or a better protection. So theoretically, people with more money can have more people work with him. And similarly, those people use money to gain more fame, and thus, gain more power of violence.

Perhaps these are what different people and animals. Animal rules by the law- survival fittest. The strong rules the weak, and that’s all and luckily in the animal kingdom, the weak is always more than the strong, so nothing has happened and changed much. However, when it comes to people, more factors seem to come in play.

The question comes, among these three things- money, fame, and power of violence, which one gains an edge? The answer seems to be obvious, but the true answer is no, as three of them all origin from the same root and factor- human fear of violence.

For example, if you are almost died without food and suddenly some people come out with some money to help you, in exchange that you will do what he says. I think you will agree within a sec. Another example, if you are asked by the PM to do something, I doubt you will dare to say no (unless it is an order to suicide). And also another example, king or Bill gates, if they are under custody of those Taliban terrorists, I doubt Bill Gates will say no when the terrorists asked for a billion for their monthly pocket money.

And if you ask me, what is the use of religion? Morality? and all those thing that were taught in Moral education since we are small. However, for me, moral is something that is followed by the ruled people (or the weak), and among the ruler (or the strong) care of things, moral is not really an important factor .If there is something called “bertolak ansur”, you won’t see politician racking their head, using whatever method to get a higher position. If there is something called “bertanggungjawab”, why the military government in Thailand still existed. If there is something called “aman damai”, why there is still war and terrorists act among leader? And if there is something called “kasih saying”, why wars existed since ancient times.

How to change, that, I don’t know.

And that concludes part of my views- the dark nature of human.

Regards
Hyde

lies and excuse

What is happening to this world?

To sum up, the world I see now can be summarized into these few things.

Economy crisis, merciless massacre, nonsensical dogma, and lastly some immature comments that seems to make Malaysia a perfect place to gossip, (AND to laugh at).

Those events portray the true nature, the dark side and the weakness of us as a human being.

LIES AND EXCUSE. They are the best thing in this world. It conceals your weakness and justifies your wrongdoings. And the pithiest are the people started to believe, and rather, choose to believe excuse as their thinking.

The excuse can be many- religion, races, countries, anything. Aim does not justify mean. However, in these cases-from Mumbai, Taliban, or the old 911, it seems that “EXCUSE does not justify mean,” suits the situation better. To those 911 terrorists, what can you accomplish to your god by ruining the economy of this world, to those Mumbai Muslim terrorists, are you helping those Muslimim in India by having a massacre in Mumbai. To Israelist , why you say you’re fighting for religion (be it Judaism or Christian) by killing Palestinian when there is such thing as “THOU SHALL NOT KILL”.

Those holy aims are just excuses, and those terrorists are the ones that are pitiful enough to believe those lies as their true calling. For those people that vowed for “fighting for religion, races, community, and etc, please see whether you are doing 1% of what you fight. Killing people is not the way to restore peace. Insulting people is not the way to restore unity, and quarreling is definitely not a way to change the country to a better place, if you ask me. For those hypocrites in this world that vowed to fight for their own excuse, you are just a coward that has no courage to face the truth.

And you might ask, if all those things like religion and race are just a excuse, what’s their point of doing all those?

Answer, there are always a few people that like to cause destruction in this world, enjoying at people’s pain, and also some people just hate to lose, in everything. And when those destructive nature people are devilishly clever, they distribute their lies around, “inspiring people” to their own destructive nature, and together they bring destruction, under religion or races.

To me, they are just a bunch of people that trapped in their own delusion, lies is their way of survive, and excuses as their energy to continue in their wrongdoings.

Perhaps, the villains in Hollywood movie such as the clown in Dark Knight are slightly better than those terrorist in real world. Why? Because they knew they kill because they want to kill.

They are evil, but at least, they are not hypocrite.

Regards

Hyde

P.S.Jekyll is on a deep sleep after days of loitering, now hyde will be taking over for a while