One hour later, I'm going to submit the dreaded form that asked my uni choice...the choice that will change my life in US, or even, my life as a whole.
Flashback...
3 weeks ago, my friends in Ipoh were facing the dilemma like me. Slightly different though, they are choosing which local Uni to go for their course...
Frankly admit, their decision-making should be easier. They had 8 choices, and only around 20 unis to choose.
Yet, I believe they had been discussing which uni to go, for around...weeks and doing research around...
There's one particular conversation I remember
Friend A: What Uni to choose le?
Friend B: Why don't we ask Jin Khang le? He's going US. Perhaps he had idea? After all, he also had to choose uni among the hundreds university in US.
Friend A: Jin Khang, what uni u go?
JK: Minnesota Kua
Friend: Why choose that Uni?
JK: ......Dunno le. Cuz not bad kua
Frannkly admit, I had not done any research for my uni choice (except for rank-checking). And now only I know Minnesota and Wisconsin are COLD COLD COLD state while Texas is a HOT HOT HOT state.
And I am completely speechless when my friend asked "why choose that uni."
Actually, I chose minnesota and wisconsin becuz...
flashback...
One year ago, the night before SAT
FY: If you wanted the test center to send score to your uni for free, you must tell them which uni you wanted to send by tonight.
JK: Huh??? But I am clueless on what Uni to go to begin with
FY: You have to tell the SAT testcenter by tonight. If not, u have to pay for the delivery fee
JK:OMGWTFSTFU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And on that night, I rushed to the nearest CC to input the Uni-s name I wanted to go. I remembered my roommate was applying to Northwestern, and I stumbled the name "Minnesota" on OSSP at that day and I somehow remember FY wrote "purdue" for her uni choice.
I had no other idea what Uni might be elligible for me, so my choice for uni during that time...
-Minnesota, purdue, northwestern
And turned out that Northwestern was too high class, and purdue kicked mechanical engineering....
I made the decision to go Uni of wisconsin on a similar manner, during the time when we had to submit our three choice of uni to OSSP.
And I made the decision to go Uni of Texas after knowing UiUC kicked me out, and there's 2 week before all Uni reached deadline...
Haiz,,,
All my uni choice were made on haste...
Just hope that there's no mistake made......
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Monday, April 6, 2009
Hypocripsy- the sixth
Are you a hypocrite?
All of us, to some extent, are hypocrites.
We tend to think ourselves in the bright-side, as a good person, and sometimes neglecting your own rights and demands because of that.
But it's nothing wrong to be hypocrite, because as human, we are bounded to be flawed sometimes, like it or not, it is hard for us to be person as inscribed in our "Moral education" book we studied since we were small.
And seriously, it shucks when you tried to be what you are not...
Dun believe in me?
Guys, let's try a few situations
1.) Do you watch/interested/ with porn/sexy gals with little clothing?
Seriously, when this question is asked, most guys will look at you, as if you are the dreaded sexmaniac roaming around, and in the process, seemed to depict themselves as a saint.
This question stuck me when I saw my friend being joked for one week for downloading porn using GE...and initially I was part of the people that disgusted at the friends of mine, but deep inside...
I,no, we all, are interested with this kind of stuff (it's in guys hormone...for the sake of errmm...continuation of offspring) , just that somehow when we were small, we were somehow taught that "porn is evil." We wished not to be associated with this evil, and therefore we rejected porn like plague. (even though we actually peeked on the laptop while our friends are watching".
So, what do we think of the guys that answered no for the first question?
Three possibilities
1. He 's a hypocrite.
2. He should consult a doctor, for there is something wrong with his body...
3. He's a gay.
And to people that chose yes for the first question, congratulate you for at least not being hypocrite. One thing though, if your friends labeled you as a sex-craving monster after saying yes, you have just one thing to say to them
"stupid"
P.S.- I didn't download and watch porn cuz I had better things to do. However, I had to admit that I am not completely reaction less when seeing some "special scene" in a 18 rated movie. But i definitely didn't acknowledge people that shouted around saying I watch porn everyday...
2nd situation
2.) Who's the one that be the leader?
This is a questions we encountered since we were small. It was actually seen everywhere. The term "leader: can be substituted by the word "chairman, class rep, project director, and etc etc...
And according to my observation for 13 years as a human. When asked this questions, 99% of people will fall to silent.
Of course there are people that avoid to be leader, as they prefer to be a follower instead (an unofficial statistic, 95% are born follower and 5% are born as leader)
Hw about the 5%?
Believe me, i actually saw people that wanted the seat of leader so much that they think no one else is the better person for the seat, yet uttered none when this question asked.
Why?
Because they are imbued with this silly concept of "it's not right to fight with others for things." "We should wait for people agreement- democracy, they said."
Problem is, they are not really as "humble" as they "supposed to be". Therefore, you could see this situation...
1.) They will wait for their friend to appoint his name, and when chosen, he will make out a face of "I'm forced", and when it was time for speech, he spoke a lot...(wiv a paper of speech that he readied last few nights ago )
2.) This "wanna-be leader" is not chosen, and he will ended up directing the new leader. He'll be the one saying "anyone else can be a better leader, " but when you asked why not him, he'll just dumping excuses
Those scene were so so so so familiar to me, i believe.
Conclusion
I believe that hypocrites were everywhere, even in a deep side of me, I agreed that I'm a hypocrite to some extent. So, if you see people that said something like this I dun need people to celebrate my birthday or etc.
You should have been able to sense the big foxy tail behind
All of us, to some extent, are hypocrites.
We tend to think ourselves in the bright-side, as a good person, and sometimes neglecting your own rights and demands because of that.
But it's nothing wrong to be hypocrite, because as human, we are bounded to be flawed sometimes, like it or not, it is hard for us to be person as inscribed in our "Moral education" book we studied since we were small.
And seriously, it shucks when you tried to be what you are not...
Dun believe in me?
Guys, let's try a few situations
1.) Do you watch/interested/ with porn/sexy gals with little clothing?
Seriously, when this question is asked, most guys will look at you, as if you are the dreaded sexmaniac roaming around, and in the process, seemed to depict themselves as a saint.
This question stuck me when I saw my friend being joked for one week for downloading porn using GE...and initially I was part of the people that disgusted at the friends of mine, but deep inside...
I,no, we all, are interested with this kind of stuff (it's in guys hormone...for the sake of errmm...continuation of offspring) , just that somehow when we were small, we were somehow taught that "porn is evil." We wished not to be associated with this evil, and therefore we rejected porn like plague. (even though we actually peeked on the laptop while our friends are watching".
So, what do we think of the guys that answered no for the first question?
Three possibilities
1. He 's a hypocrite.
2. He should consult a doctor, for there is something wrong with his body...
3. He's a gay.
And to people that chose yes for the first question, congratulate you for at least not being hypocrite. One thing though, if your friends labeled you as a sex-craving monster after saying yes, you have just one thing to say to them
"stupid"
P.S.- I didn't download and watch porn cuz I had better things to do. However, I had to admit that I am not completely reaction less when seeing some "special scene" in a 18 rated movie. But i definitely didn't acknowledge people that shouted around saying I watch porn everyday...
2nd situation
2.) Who's the one that be the leader?
This is a questions we encountered since we were small. It was actually seen everywhere. The term "leader: can be substituted by the word "chairman, class rep, project director, and etc etc...
And according to my observation for 13 years as a human. When asked this questions, 99% of people will fall to silent.
Of course there are people that avoid to be leader, as they prefer to be a follower instead (an unofficial statistic, 95% are born follower and 5% are born as leader)
Hw about the 5%?
Believe me, i actually saw people that wanted the seat of leader so much that they think no one else is the better person for the seat, yet uttered none when this question asked.
Why?
Because they are imbued with this silly concept of "it's not right to fight with others for things." "We should wait for people agreement- democracy, they said."
Problem is, they are not really as "humble" as they "supposed to be". Therefore, you could see this situation...
1.) They will wait for their friend to appoint his name, and when chosen, he will make out a face of "I'm forced", and when it was time for speech, he spoke a lot...(wiv a paper of speech that he readied last few nights ago )
2.) This "wanna-be leader" is not chosen, and he will ended up directing the new leader. He'll be the one saying "anyone else can be a better leader, " but when you asked why not him, he'll just dumping excuses
Those scene were so so so so familiar to me, i believe.
Conclusion
I believe that hypocrites were everywhere, even in a deep side of me, I agreed that I'm a hypocrite to some extent. So, if you see people that said something like this I dun need people to celebrate my birthday or etc.
You should have been able to sense the big foxy tail behind
Friday, April 3, 2009
Imagination - the seventh
Kenshin, outnumberd by his assailant, each carrying unimaginable weapons. All of them strike, only to find the samurai Kenshin had disappeared, the next second, sword flashes through, and the evil lied dead, and Kenshin went back to his dojo, with his Kauru-Chan awaiting him...
Well, this is a scene of Samurai X, an old japanese anime......
Sometimes I might imagine myself as Kenshin, slashing those badass with just mere flick of sword, and live with the stubborn yet sensitive Kauru in peace... or sometimes...
Imagine myself as an unknown assassin, walking in the midst of night, exterminating those evil dread root in the society, and the evils that had escaped unjust...and disappeared in the darkness of night.
But imagination is imaginations, reality is reality. I was just a student, definitely not good lucking. Particularly expert in nothing and that's it. You won't differentiate me in the midst of society, an ordinary lad.
And that's why I hate imagination. Yet, in the darkest time in the alone street, imagination is the only thing that accompanied me.
Ya know one thing, imagination is only things for weak, as people with strong will never imagine, they make their imagination reality.
Often, bubbles had to be prickled before u are bring to higher place. Like it or not, a bubble will prickle one day
And I am at least grateful, for i learn to know imagination as pure imagination. Thought how nice it is in ur dream, it was reality.
I'll never let the mist of imagination to blind me, as mist, after all, is a sign of impermanent. o one can live in a dream.
You might be Kauru, but I'll never be Kenshinn. That's all I know...
Yet, if there's a need of protection, i will arise as Kenshin to protect you,
Though the sword I had was just mere air, and I'm not skillful as the real Kenshin as be.
and how futile the situation might be
And I will disappear in thin air before you mistaken me for the real kenshin in life
Imagination..
imagination...
Well, this is a scene of Samurai X, an old japanese anime......
Sometimes I might imagine myself as Kenshin, slashing those badass with just mere flick of sword, and live with the stubborn yet sensitive Kauru in peace... or sometimes...
Imagine myself as an unknown assassin, walking in the midst of night, exterminating those evil dread root in the society, and the evils that had escaped unjust...and disappeared in the darkness of night.
But imagination is imaginations, reality is reality. I was just a student, definitely not good lucking. Particularly expert in nothing and that's it. You won't differentiate me in the midst of society, an ordinary lad.
And that's why I hate imagination. Yet, in the darkest time in the alone street, imagination is the only thing that accompanied me.
Ya know one thing, imagination is only things for weak, as people with strong will never imagine, they make their imagination reality.
Often, bubbles had to be prickled before u are bring to higher place. Like it or not, a bubble will prickle one day
And I am at least grateful, for i learn to know imagination as pure imagination. Thought how nice it is in ur dream, it was reality.
I'll never let the mist of imagination to blind me, as mist, after all, is a sign of impermanent. o one can live in a dream.
You might be Kauru, but I'll never be Kenshinn. That's all I know...
Yet, if there's a need of protection, i will arise as Kenshin to protect you,
Though the sword I had was just mere air, and I'm not skillful as the real Kenshin as be.
and how futile the situation might be
And I will disappear in thin air before you mistaken me for the real kenshin in life
Imagination..
imagination...
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Termination button activated
This blog will be turned into ashes after 7posts (why 7, cuz i like 7)
First of all, I started to hate myself being wordy and I didn't really like upload pictures...
Yep, I'm more like an author than blogger. You could have said that, but seriously, there's a lot more reason why I think this blogpost shouldn't be here...
(I'm not emo-ing, seriously, and somehow I'm happy cuz this "term emo" did not appear in INTEC anymore...) phew...
Well, after this two years, I had knew myself more, partly because of blogging, that I realize that how narrow it is to view something from your own perspective. Blogging about my problem makes me able to see what are the problem really is in essence, and well, the post is deleted next second.
So, this blogpost was meant for myself than others, I guess...
But whatever it is, I knew who I really feel, who I really am, and to celebrate this, i'm going to verbal abuse this blog in the next few post...
P.S.- After the American talent show, i fall in love with taylor swift's song, -love story. The gal just sang the song well
"I still had feelings on her and I won't run and escape from the problem, like i used to do. Whatever it is, may you be well and happy."
First of all, I started to hate myself being wordy and I didn't really like upload pictures...
Yep, I'm more like an author than blogger. You could have said that, but seriously, there's a lot more reason why I think this blogpost shouldn't be here...
(I'm not emo-ing, seriously, and somehow I'm happy cuz this "term emo" did not appear in INTEC anymore...) phew...
Well, after this two years, I had knew myself more, partly because of blogging, that I realize that how narrow it is to view something from your own perspective. Blogging about my problem makes me able to see what are the problem really is in essence, and well, the post is deleted next second.
So, this blogpost was meant for myself than others, I guess...
But whatever it is, I knew who I really feel, who I really am, and to celebrate this, i'm going to verbal abuse this blog in the next few post...
P.S.- After the American talent show, i fall in love with taylor swift's song, -love story. The gal just sang the song well
"I still had feelings on her and I won't run and escape from the problem, like i used to do. Whatever it is, may you be well and happy."
* Really didn’t update my blog for quite some time * (and this post was outdated either)
Right now, I am struggling for the bunches of integration. Before this it was d d d (dy/dx), now it was f f f (f)…and sooner, I will deal a lot of F things again (yep, Fucking vector Field and Fucking magnetic Field) revisit my old haunt. Not to mention Mr.K “beloved” beloved and Physic test. (And I can sense my incoming failure on business test…).
And two quiz incoming tomorrow =.=
And what am I doing now? Reading beloved? Nope! Calculus? Nope!. Dota-ing? Nope either. I’m blogging now, partly becuz of the dreaded coffee I drank, and more importantly, I think I had a new revelation whacking my head, so “important” that I decided to blog about it…
(Note, I was writing this piece at 1.50a.m. on my new laptop, when I should be sleeping …)
America Indulgence Week
Seriously…
I can’t believe I’m participating almost every activities in the indulgence week. American got Talent, Halloween, Parade, Luav Party, shouting with the Florida students, shrieking (that’s pui yin and Sanddy) and boo-ing at the same time. (Except for the dodgeball, nobody’s asking me = =
Seriously…
I can’t believe I missed out all those things last year, including the parade. I acted uninterested on the parade last year (that’s honolulu class), forgetting to prepare the things that I should prepare, and ended up carrying the banner. I believed I had at least muttered some “Tuuting rated” curse word during that time. “Fudge you, such a waste of time”
*wince* I think I’m a jerk last year,(maybe even now) . esp. for being a wet blanket. Maybe I thought it’s cool to stay at my room dota-ing and complaining every single details to the microscopic level…
Seriously seriously…
I can’t believe that I would be part of the parade, ordering people what to do, discussing and even role-played one of the characters (though it’s only sticking a big card on my mouth, cuz that’s how the character looks like = =). Also I can’t believe I would shout with my friends when there’s a performance and boo-ing the dreadful judge for giving a big X for Muhaimin.
And many many more things that I could haven’t done, many things that I regarded as stupid before…
Well, for some people, shouting is an act of immature, going for those events are a waste of time, a waste of money. Maybe the Luav party is not really a good one, maybe INTEC singers really shucks, maybe climbing the tank was stupid, and etc etc…
I’m sure about one thing, either they haven’t go for those things, or they went, but complained throughout the whole event like a pile of s***. I am one of those “sporting” peoples last year, and I’m now ashamed for being that last time. The lesson I learned is…
If you learned to enjoy more, and complain less, there might be some fun within you that you can’t see because of wearing a spectacle of complain. Well, maybe America got Talent was lame, as what someone said, but I’ll never realize Jamal was such a good singer (and Nouri’s damn bitchy) if I haven’t go for the party. I would never realize other little fun things in my life had I chose to remain “rational” all the time.
So what if there’s a quiz. If there’s a quiz tomorrow, just study two days before. Whatever it is, I am not going to let DoTA and dreadful calculus to be the only thing in my college life, cuz I’ll be regretting years later.
Don’t let rational get your head most of the times. I am not that crazy, as compared to some of my Florida friends that rented a 45buck suit just for the Halloween show and painting the whole face blue just for the parade. Whatever is it, thanks for teaching me to be “irrational” sometimes. Count me in if there’s other activities that I can join…
*wince* as long as it didn’t cost that much money…
Right now, I am struggling for the bunches of integration. Before this it was d d d (dy/dx), now it was f f f (f)…and sooner, I will deal a lot of F things again (yep, Fucking vector Field and Fucking magnetic Field) revisit my old haunt. Not to mention Mr.K “beloved” beloved and Physic test. (And I can sense my incoming failure on business test…).
And two quiz incoming tomorrow =.=
And what am I doing now? Reading beloved? Nope! Calculus? Nope!. Dota-ing? Nope either. I’m blogging now, partly becuz of the dreaded coffee I drank, and more importantly, I think I had a new revelation whacking my head, so “important” that I decided to blog about it…
(Note, I was writing this piece at 1.50a.m. on my new laptop, when I should be sleeping …)
America Indulgence Week
Seriously…
I can’t believe I’m participating almost every activities in the indulgence week. American got Talent, Halloween, Parade, Luav Party, shouting with the Florida students, shrieking (that’s pui yin and Sanddy) and boo-ing at the same time. (Except for the dodgeball, nobody’s asking me = =
Seriously…
I can’t believe I missed out all those things last year, including the parade. I acted uninterested on the parade last year (that’s honolulu class), forgetting to prepare the things that I should prepare, and ended up carrying the banner. I believed I had at least muttered some “Tuuting rated” curse word during that time. “Fudge you, such a waste of time”
*wince* I think I’m a jerk last year,(maybe even now) . esp. for being a wet blanket. Maybe I thought it’s cool to stay at my room dota-ing and complaining every single details to the microscopic level…
Seriously seriously…
I can’t believe that I would be part of the parade, ordering people what to do, discussing and even role-played one of the characters (though it’s only sticking a big card on my mouth, cuz that’s how the character looks like = =). Also I can’t believe I would shout with my friends when there’s a performance and boo-ing the dreadful judge for giving a big X for Muhaimin.
And many many more things that I could haven’t done, many things that I regarded as stupid before…
Well, for some people, shouting is an act of immature, going for those events are a waste of time, a waste of money. Maybe the Luav party is not really a good one, maybe INTEC singers really shucks, maybe climbing the tank was stupid, and etc etc…
I’m sure about one thing, either they haven’t go for those things, or they went, but complained throughout the whole event like a pile of s***. I am one of those “sporting” peoples last year, and I’m now ashamed for being that last time. The lesson I learned is…
If you learned to enjoy more, and complain less, there might be some fun within you that you can’t see because of wearing a spectacle of complain. Well, maybe America got Talent was lame, as what someone said, but I’ll never realize Jamal was such a good singer (and Nouri’s damn bitchy) if I haven’t go for the party. I would never realize other little fun things in my life had I chose to remain “rational” all the time.
So what if there’s a quiz. If there’s a quiz tomorrow, just study two days before. Whatever it is, I am not going to let DoTA and dreadful calculus to be the only thing in my college life, cuz I’ll be regretting years later.
Don’t let rational get your head most of the times. I am not that crazy, as compared to some of my Florida friends that rented a 45buck suit just for the Halloween show and painting the whole face blue just for the parade. Whatever is it, thanks for teaching me to be “irrational” sometimes. Count me in if there’s other activities that I can join…
*wince* as long as it didn’t cost that much money…
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Darker than night, hotter and bitter than the hell itself, it is...
*weird tunes playing...Godot's theme....*
Before I met thee
The world I've seen
is always in the darkest void then I can't imagine
in my calculus
or my business class
or in the darkest night
as lone guy alonely doing final struggling
Yearning to freedom of the darkness
Fate sets meeting and you and me
you are
Darker than any moonless night I could imagined
hotter and bitter than any hell you 've imagined
Yet since then
I can't live without you...
Without realizing
I'm indulged in your darkness
darker than the reality
Dark you might be
Thou shed light in my calculus
Providing a helpless soul with a ray of light
even though darkness in approaching
in the coldest class listening to Kamal's cold joke
You gave me strength in unexpected way
so that I could had survived
under the fury of differentials and integrals
Yet
ur enchanting darkness
was also source of my hell
I lost too much because of you
My belongings, my result
were all at the verge of diminishing
And sometimes
because of your darkness
I experienced the world than hell itself
the same darkness that brought me to heaven
brought me to hell
Life might have been better without you
but it's defnitely worst without you
It had to be you
My beloved
(I'm sure that most people had already thought something out of the box,..)
It had to be you
My dear coffee......
Lolz, I am just new to coffee, but thanks to it, I barely able to survive during calculus class without falling asleep, yet the same coffee caused me to lost my phone, almost missed my test and etc etc...
Before ending this post, I think I should had quoted the coffee-philosopher, Godot ( a character in Ace attorney series about coffee...)
-"Darker than the night... Hotter and more bitter than Hell itself... That is coffee."
- Blacker than the blackest black, it's coffee
- All men wear masks - whether it be over their faces, or over their hearts... (unrelated to coffee, but I like his quote)
-A coffee’s most reliable accomplice is its deep and profound aroma…
-The bitter darkness that lies at the bottom of this mug
-If your mug is filled with black and bitter suspicions…The only way to get rid of them is to drink them down quick…… Like this
-…Humans are afraid of the dark.And yet… At the same time, we’re fascinated and bewitched by it.
Maybe that’s why humans drink the darkness that is coffee. -Men that are trapped by the chains of “Maybe”… (Next line) … can never reach their dreams! (again unrelated)
Done...
*godot's theme, darkness of the fragant coffee tuned again...
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
STPM
wince, 3 minutes left, and my pc gone...
I'm try my best
Congratz, for my STPM form 6 fren, even though u all seemed to be giving up on the test, dota after Pengajian Am,and etc, etc, gasp, ur guys result are fabolous!!
wai lap- 4A (expected...)
chee a.k.a teenjay 3A one B (seriously, without this evil guy like me loitering around, u sure can study well, izzit
and also congratz on queeni ni, (u said , a free meal when I back to Ipoh) and also yuh luan, for 3A= 1A-.
I'm nt doing that well, errmm.., but congratz
JPP rocks!!
I'm try my best
Congratz, for my STPM form 6 fren, even though u all seemed to be giving up on the test, dota after Pengajian Am,and etc, etc, gasp, ur guys result are fabolous!!
wai lap- 4A (expected...)
chee a.k.a teenjay 3A one B (seriously, without this evil guy like me loitering around, u sure can study well, izzit
and also congratz on queeni ni, (u said , a free meal when I back to Ipoh) and also yuh luan, for 3A= 1A-.
I'm nt doing that well, errmm.., but congratz
JPP rocks!!
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