Yet, everyone is busy ingesting the poison to their body, while all in the merry mode. I looked at this cup, wondering why so many were willing to drink this filth.
" Drink it "
" It's only half a cup "
And buried among st the voice, I pick up the poison, and ingest it right to my tummy.
It never feels good. No matter how many times I drink it up.
Yet, it's hard not to think I'm the exception, because everyone seems to feel good with this poison.
Yes. I am talking about alcohol...
And so again, I was once again shoe-horned into something that I hate.
As I drove back to my house, I began to wonder. Didn't I hate this thing? I had tried alchohol as early as 9 with my first cup of shandy. And it left me twirling around for 3 hours.
Yet it amazes me on how I could ingest this thing. All for sake of the folks that cheers for you, those folks that will not give a rat ass about you on whether you will crash the lamp-post on your way back.
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This is adulthood.
It's a cross-road when every teen leaps when he first broke to the world, the leap of faith to society
When you are the "adult" of the society, you are granted an infinite amount of freedom that you won't have as a child. The way you life, the car you drive, the work you have, the money you'll spend and the things that you'll buy. It's time, when asking money from anyone without any repercussion, is out of the question.
Yet at the same time, a few threads dangles above you - in your hand, your head, your leg. And the puppeteer that controls the puppet named you is a thing known as "society".
We are controlled by the puppet string of society, yet we are part of the puppet string itself.
The leap to adulthood, is when you realized the tiny silver puppet string that ties your hand.
Although in some case, you could hate it, you can't help but notice, there's a tiny little bit of you in the string, presumably binding on others
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" I hate adult. " I once had this notion twice.
I once told myself that I hate adult when I was a kid. I questioned myself. Why do we have to call every single adult we meet? Why do the adults get everything first ? Why do they think themselves highly above us ? And why did of all things, we have to be punished by them when we simply pisses them off.
And when I was a 14 years old teen. I once again told myself. Why would the adults never admit their mistake? Why did they impose their superiority on us ? And why are we binded to their customs and their rule? Why are they betraying others without hesitation? Seeking for fame and having a war on things that seemed to be trivial??"
And I told myself not to be a stinking adult like this when I grown up.
Looking back at it, it's very easy to see how naive I was. It's all because I did not see the invisible string that ties all of us.
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Adulthood is when you realizes the world is not black and white, but merely a color of grey with different intensity of black and white.
Is lying immoral ? And is honesty the best policy ? And should we regard other human being as equal?
Does sacrificing other for your own survival, a bad thing? YES ?
How about if that person has a built up fame for years? How about if he has a family and a car to attend? And how about the sacrificial lamb is merely a brat?
And if the person that has to sacrifice others happens to be you, can you say YES ? And if failing to sacrifice others means a social disgrace, a loss of opportunity or even threatening your worklife, can you say YES
Adulthood is when you realize black is merely another form of grey.
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Back to the real world
" I can smell your alcoholic stench miles away. You are almost hopeless. "
I grudged, saying nothing. Because I realized it's a choice I made as an adult, regardless whether it's a forced choice. I know he has to stop somewhere. Regardless whether this alcohol stench adult is doing, the best thing he can do is an advice. The "once before a kid" is now walking the crossroad to an adult.
" Nobody can really force you on things what you can't do." He once said it
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There's string binding me, governing me on what should I do. It makes me continue paving on the road I reluctant to walk, it echos to me " I am an adult " , just when I decide to give everything up.
But a line has to be drawn somewhere
After all, no one really cares about you as you shaft those poison into you. The cruelty of adulthood is that no adult will never see any other adult as a kid that requires help or guidance, regardless of age. They will bind you into their rules, like how adult bind the others.
So I will make up my own rule.
No one can force me to swallow that cursed poison again. They are merely forcing other into it because he/she has realized that he's too poisoned to pull out.
I am more afraid to be this kind adult than anything else.
Times to make rule up, like once I was a kid
If anyone ever mentioned alcohol again in front of me.
Fuck'em
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