For the first time

I don't know how is laughing behind me.

I don't know how to believe 

I don't know who's friend and who's not

I don't know whether I'm bothered or not.

But for the first time,

I know I actually cared about my image

A tarnished one, a condemned one

For years people either think I am a nuisance

or I am a fool

And for years I accepted people looking me

as a lool

But for the first time

I don't

And I shall get a new change today

And I shall shut down my heart 

And I shall shut down my faith

For the sake of  an already fragile image
A castle of thorns
Is better than a thorough despised lair

And from now on
People shall looks the castle and not the room

But just for tonight

I don't understand who I can turn to when there's trouble

And yet for tonight

I truly understand how alone I am really be
And after tonight
I will never understand what dependent is.

And perhaps night to come
I will savor the bitter fruit of maturity
The fruit of pretentious and hypocrisy

Edward