What's waiting me on the end of road?

2.ooa.m., friday morning

Apparently I'm was stuck in Chin Jian's room because I forget to bring my key. Suddenly, there's an urge for me to blog, more precise, to pour out all the things that hidden with me....

The beginning of the end
Today was heck of a day, knowing that CTU test's coming on this Saturday, undergo Physic test, and get myself mystified in calculus class.

I'm getting to hate calculus. My whole spine shivers on the mention of calculus. My heart shrunk on the mention of calculus test. I shudder on the mention of Zuraidah's class. I didn't study for my cal 1, I sucked. I'm learned my lesson and I studied like hell for my 2nd test, feeling confident.

In the end, I get an ever poorer marks than my first test. The moment the result came up, the dice is cast- I'll never able to pass my calculus even with a simple C.

Ironically. I've been drilling in physic for more than weeks, dealing those brain squeezing question but happen to neglect one of those hard questions. In the end, that question appeared on exam among all those hard question that I poked out

Is this some kind of joke?

The end of the beginning
*flashback*

Years ago, when I am still a student of form 5 that had just received my SPM result. I was trapped in a crossroad- matriculation, form 6 or college.

While my friends was thinking for their own path, I had made my own choice -form 6. I still remembered that I made a pact with few friends of mine, that we will take physic together at form 6, go into the same U and emerged as an engineer.

Friends and families of mine considered my act as stupid, but I'm proud to make this choice, even though of the fact that STPM is one of the hardest exam you will ever encountered.

Perhaps it was my immaturity back then, I throw all those college offers that offered scholarship for good students, tossed away all those comments from helpful teachers, and fled away before my mother would nag "why don't u try to get some scholarship...bla bla bla"As the matter of fact
, I already bought some form 6 reference book even before my SPM result came up.

I still remember that I had a cold war with my mother because of the fact that I refused to apply for JPA (due to reason "I'm not giving a damn shit of going overseas") and I finally gave up and applied after one week.

The day of JPA interview was a whole failure. My whole body was sweating because of foregetting to serox my IC, and I rushed another 0.5km to the nearest shop to get it done, not to mention my motorcycle actually punctured in the way. And of course I sucked in the interview because of not preparing a single thing. In the end, I had to apologize with the inteviewee for my poor command of english.

And when the interviewee consoled us that "you shouldn't feel sad if u r not chosen.", I'm just happy that the mess is over.

Finally, when the list of JPA sponsor student came up, I did not even check. I just know that I'm chosen after my friend take my ic number and checked for it.

Sometimes, fate always play with you, you didn't get what u asked, but u get what u didn't asked for......

The moment I stepped on my uncle's car full of stuffs, I know... life's going to be a hallelujah change from now on...


*****------This post should be posted last week but owed to some difficulties, it came up late-----*****


The end of the end

Another semester is going to pass by, with me clueless as times goes by. I have been wondering on the questions

"What would my life been if I'm not in INTEC? What happened to me if I have taken the road that had been predestined for me"

Perhaps I won't be getting selsema because of lack of sleep.
Perhaps I won't be undergo such an enotional turmoil right now.
Perhaps I won't worry on when my ass is going to be kicked by JPA
Perhaps calculus is the least thing i would care right now.

Final exams are approaching, dossiers are no way to get done, CTU assignments is burning my ass ( and I know that I'm going to do it alone ) , seems like everything is a mess now

What's waiting me in the end of this road...

Juz wait and see