bitter fruit of responsibility

3 semester ago, I have enjoyed slacking off, drifting to my DoTA land, spreeing on the Animes...... and rushed for the dreadful assignment in the last minute.

Now I don't think I can find a gap to stuff some craps in blog.The irony part is, I can only spare some time blogging during Cal class(which is supposingly the STRESSFUL subject). And I think Miss Zuraidah (My "Kael" lecturer ) was sitting in front of me when I was crapping lots of stuff. (Shit, she's looking at me, better close my laptop...)
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Talking about my "Kael"lecturer, I think I once again landed in hot soup...thanks to my disrespectful behavior to lecturer again... Come to think about it, I a long black trail behind me among lecturer. ( and mostly Ms Asma......but I am working under her for InPRo) and seriously I am started to(tiny little bit) regret on what I had done in her class for the past two sem.

Actually, I didn't sleep in her class, nor do I skipped Miss Zuraidah's class. All I do is just reading chapter 8.3 when she taught chapter 7.8... And she discovered. I didn't get scolded though but she keep........

-ticking on my dx error ( I am too lazy to write dx for intergration)
-looking(staring) at my EVERY QUESTION to see i get any error and IF
-I get a mistake (the silliest mistake) she will point it up (fast and FURIOUS) at my paper

Well, at least because of her, my Cal won't be that sucks.......


I know that it is rude to using a laptop during class ( but I finished every question before I blogged) but I just can't find anytime to blog. I juz can't let my "rubbish dump" (because it is full of crap) to be deserted there, without people smelling at it...

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In this spring of my 18, I had finally tasted a lot of first time. For the first time, I spent my most nights in Starbuck having meeting instead of trapping myself in room and playing laptop. For the first time, I spent RM20 credit in two days (not with girl fren of cuz). For the first time, I started to feel that sleeping is a luxury and

FOR the first time, I KNOW WHAT IT TAKES TO BE RESPONSIBLE.

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I remembered once my friend said :

"I wouldn't promise people easily, but once I promised, I will uphold my word," and sorry to say that I am the person otherwise.

Sharon has been asking me a T-shirt design since May and I ended up finished in July. As a result, the juniors cannot have a new batch of T-shirt in the camp because the T-shirt company could not make it. I could have blamed everything my right injured hand. But even when the reason could decieve others, it could never decieve me...

For the first time, I had finally realized that I had been a rubbish all along......

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The space tunnel has one extra week to go, and my group has just decided on blueprint and materials. It is still a unknown whether I can assemble a replica within one week more.

I had to get this done within the space tunnel deadline. If I am going to fail, I am not the only one will suffer, my juniors that had been supporting me also will.

Someone, grant me the strength to run all this thing through. I can no longerdrag peoples to dirty mud i used to be .

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InPro selection is finally done after some slight twist of event ( like sudden change of schedule). I will be attendig the InPRO for chess soon at 5.30 as a team manager, but not before I ended this piece of crap.

I was in fact, very disappointed with the juniors this year. 14 girls wrote their name, had been informed that selection will be done when they are free,wasted money SMSing them, and 2 people came only in the end. I was too frustated during that time and apparently I released my anger on Ee Jane (junior), one the pitiful girl that come for the selection. (And I'm so sorry about this...)

For guys, 8 peoples come when there are 24 people wrote their name. While some got class, some peoples just apparently forget about it or just fled. There is still a selection to choose for people (

Maybe you can said that I'm naive, but I had the right to angry. After all, I had been carrying two large baggage consist of 11 chess sets (which is damn heavy) and walking under the rain with that. I had been visiting HEP 4 times just to meet the person in charge, and after all this hardwork this is THE RESPONSE I GET. Could I be more angry?

At least the juniors in Space tunnel still know what responsibility is, and i'm happy with that.
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A vid presentation must be done, if not chau kee and kian hui will not able to get certs. I can't just stand looking chau kee doing the hardwork and get nothing because of me slacking around.

It' time for me to learn how to think for people. (The, a damn fool jk.)

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I should end this blog with a epilogue by now. I think I had progressed a little bit, from a people that does not know how shucks he himself is until to people that realized how shucks he is.

Everytime, there is vowes,promise, regretful word, contemption, but in the end never truly resolved. I always take a excuse of not having girlfriend because of look, but actually it is just an excuse for my shucks behavior.

I wonder ever any friends, not girlfriend only, can tolerate such a irresponsible person.

At least I had known something, and I hope I will progress further, even though it feels like walking in a mud.

P.S. "feel like walking a dying path from a person I hate."

Regards :JK